Monday, March 9, 2015
Day 17
Today I reflected with teachers on the meaning of Mary lending me her heart and keeping me in her most pure heart. I was overwhelmed with awe when I looked at Mary's plea as a mommy of her only son - begging us to direct our attention to Him, to be awed by his every essence. I can not comprehend her desire for this because I can barely comprehend my own weak, human yet profound unspeakable love for my boys. How often do I want to share with others the absolute beauty and mystery and laughter of my children. I want others to see what I see in them. I want others to know them like I know them because it is so amazing to see each milestone unfold. How much more does Our Lady beg us sisters to ponder her Son in His perfection and to be awed by His grace, his gentleness, his humor. Lord, help me to turn to Jesus through Mary remembering always the Love she has for her son because He is her son.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Day 12
Your Will + my will = Sanctity
Thank you Lord for the Ignatian examen as a means for determining Your Will in my life. I couldn't help but laugh when two days ago, Matthew Kelley's prayer process is virtually the same process of the examen:
Thank you Lord for the Ignatian examen as a means for determining Your Will in my life. I couldn't help but laugh when two days ago, Matthew Kelley's prayer process is virtually the same process of the examen:
- 1Gratitude: Begin by thanking God in a personal dialogue for whatever you are most grateful for today.
- 2Awareness: Revisit the times in the past twenty-four hours when you were and were not the-best-version-of-your-self. Talk to God about these situations and what
you learned from them. - 3Significant Moments: Identify something you experienced in the last twenty-four hours and explore what God might be trying to say to you through that event
(or person). - 4Peace: Ask God to forgive you for any wrong you have committed (against yourself, another person, or Him) and to fill you with a deep and abiding peace.
- 5Freedom: Speak with God about how He is inviting you to change your life, so that you can experience the freedom to be the-best-version-of-yourself.
- 6Others: Lift up to God anyone you feel called to pray for today, asking God to bless and guide them.
- 7Pray the Our Father
Lord, help me make and find the time to participate fully in prayer to discern what is Your will and not my will. To talk with you and not just "think things through." Help me to be a hand servant of the Lord. Mary, send me your graces.
Day 11
In today's reflection, we read how St. Thomas Aquinas examines, "The Great Circle of Being." He observes how when we are in good order all things return to where they came forth from. Being Lent, the humble cross of Ashes placed upon our forehead surfaces - You are Dust. I can't helping thinking again of the infant I hold in my arms at night. If I smile, he smiles. He giggles. He could spend all day staring into my eyes or gazing upon the wonder of a fan blade circling about his head. He is baptized, free from original sin. Nothing in his little life has been tainted by disordered desires that drive our sin and separate us from God. I'm sure he even gazes upon the face of God, the hosts of angels, and the his guardian is present to him.
We journey through life. We are tested in our vocations - our marriages, our children test us they grow, time tests us, balancing our jobs with life demands is a challenge. We daily fail tests that might turn us for a moment away from that which are to return. If we are faithful to our prayer life, God in His love gets us back on track. I see it much like the DNA helix that Miss Truchan's class produced from an onion. It is a long spiritual spiral extending down through eternity. The students wrote that DNA is how God made us each unique - one child's response pointed out that our DNA marks us each a miracle. I may have to come back to this post and enter in some of their reflections. If DNA is the physical representation of our body, so must their be a spiritual realm. Some of the loops may be larger than others at those times we stray and wander - but thanks be to God - we turn back.
Lord, help me always to LISTEN to Your voice and turn back. Do not allow disordered desires stemming from our cultural influence (individualism, relativism, hedonism) that yield not the the fruits of the Holy Spirit, but fruits of greed, overtake me.
Save me O Lord.
Through Mary make my spiritual DNA a small and refined helix that is on the most direct path to you and your Son in heaven.
We journey through life. We are tested in our vocations - our marriages, our children test us they grow, time tests us, balancing our jobs with life demands is a challenge. We daily fail tests that might turn us for a moment away from that which are to return. If we are faithful to our prayer life, God in His love gets us back on track. I see it much like the DNA helix that Miss Truchan's class produced from an onion. It is a long spiritual spiral extending down through eternity. The students wrote that DNA is how God made us each unique - one child's response pointed out that our DNA marks us each a miracle. I may have to come back to this post and enter in some of their reflections. If DNA is the physical representation of our body, so must their be a spiritual realm. Some of the loops may be larger than others at those times we stray and wander - but thanks be to God - we turn back.
Lord, help me always to LISTEN to Your voice and turn back. Do not allow disordered desires stemming from our cultural influence (individualism, relativism, hedonism) that yield not the the fruits of the Holy Spirit, but fruits of greed, overtake me.
Save me O Lord.
Through Mary make my spiritual DNA a small and refined helix that is on the most direct path to you and your Son in heaven.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Day 10
What I don't understand about modern culture:
Money. Please Lord give me just what I need to provide for my family and give to charity.
Sex. How could anyone ever cheat on their spouse? How could they convince themselves that it is okay? How can people be so numb as to not feel the pain and emptiness this betrayal causes. In our world, infidelity is common. I couldn't imagine ever being next to someone besides PJ(… dogs don't count.)
Power. Please Lord help me to seek you and not a popular reputation.
Violence: Satan must be real. I do not and never will understand the root of violence, from where it is conceived, and how people can live with themselves after victimizing others. If Christ is conceived from the union between Mary and the Holy Spirit - Violence is conceived between the devil and _____….What is the opposite of the the Immaculate Conception?
I am grateful for:
PJ
The simplicity of my home and of my husband's dreams.
Time outside today.
Henry's laughter.
That God is present to Luke.
Hearing the birds yesterday (sorry to the one that banged into the window a few times - they aren't even clean. Poor bird is just out of practice I guess.)
Day 9
Happiness and Jesus
It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your life…
I have always known this, felt this, been guided by this even when I was most trapped in sin. The Holy Spirit has always remained present and visible to me. St. Max identifies the Holy Spirit as the uncreated Immaculate Conception - that which has existed before creation and will never cease to exist. What will the Holy Spirit in me create? For many years I was caught up in what I would become. God certainly gave me talents that could leave a mark on history if I played my cards right, if I worked hard, and if I kept striving for the next goal. Then suddenly…the something great I desired to do with my life changed...Through the sacrament of marriage two souls made one conceived two new souls - created, baptized, and entrusted to PJ and me. They are the greatness of Christ. All else pales in comparison to great acts or deeds. It is no longer about writing the greatest novel, establishing the most life giving charity, or starting my own school. It is not about getting to the top of anything. The summit is actually tiny, humble, dependent on me, and the center of my life. My priorities have been turned upside down. It is no longer about me. Having children is a sure means to understand dying to self.
It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your life…
I have always known this, felt this, been guided by this even when I was most trapped in sin. The Holy Spirit has always remained present and visible to me. St. Max identifies the Holy Spirit as the uncreated Immaculate Conception - that which has existed before creation and will never cease to exist. What will the Holy Spirit in me create? For many years I was caught up in what I would become. God certainly gave me talents that could leave a mark on history if I played my cards right, if I worked hard, and if I kept striving for the next goal. Then suddenly…the something great I desired to do with my life changed...Through the sacrament of marriage two souls made one conceived two new souls - created, baptized, and entrusted to PJ and me. They are the greatness of Christ. All else pales in comparison to great acts or deeds. It is no longer about writing the greatest novel, establishing the most life giving charity, or starting my own school. It is not about getting to the top of anything. The summit is actually tiny, humble, dependent on me, and the center of my life. My priorities have been turned upside down. It is no longer about me. Having children is a sure means to understand dying to self.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Day 8
Today, Michael Gaitley asks us to ponder with St. Maximilian Kolbe the question, "Who are you, O Immaculate Conception?" With GOD-incidence, Matthew Kelley asks us to ponder, "Who is Jesus Christ?" Maximilian Kolbe dedicated his life to this question. The apostles gave up EVERYTHING to follow Jesus for three years to come to understand Christ's own probe: "Who do you say that I am?"
What have I sacrificed in my life to truly come to know and be in deeper relationship with Christ and his beautiful heavenly mother? Why is "knowing" them, not just knowing about them so important?
St. Bernadette ate mud, forsake her image or what others might think of her, trusted beyond doubt when she saw and heard Mary speak to her. What have I done? Well…I chose Catholic Schools. I did so being only 3 years away from being vested. I did so knowing I would have to give up teaching at Delta. I did so with a $15,000 pay cut. I did so know that St. Mary's might not be viable - that I could be jobless if I didn't cut it. But, I have gained so much more in the past four years than I can put into words. I pray with children everyday. I pray with my colleagues everyday. I receive Communion more often than I ever could before. I read more scripture. I know more people striving for Holiness that influence me to want to strive for Holiness.
Perhaps even more importantly - when I made the decision to marry and enter into this vocation I sacrificed myself to get to know Christ and the Immaculate Conception. We are the domestic church. The challenges of our little unit make me turn to Christ often and submit to His will. Having my children deepens my understanding of Mary's maternal love for all of us. For example, nursing. When a mother nurses an infant, it is said that it is best for the Mother to respond to the baby's cues and feed on call. As a mother, I spent hours trying to decipher the cries of the baby to come to know His needs and respond to them. There is no greater priority than nourishing him. I've always seen myself as this lowly little creature (which I am) turning to Mary and Jesus for favors because they call the shots. But it is not that way at all. Rather, Mary is mommy. To nourish me she is sitting and waiting patiently. She is studying the language of me so that she can be there for me. She is listening for my cues. She knows I am helpless but she never abandons me or leave me hungry.
What have I sacrificed in my life to truly come to know and be in deeper relationship with Christ and his beautiful heavenly mother? Why is "knowing" them, not just knowing about them so important?
St. Bernadette ate mud, forsake her image or what others might think of her, trusted beyond doubt when she saw and heard Mary speak to her. What have I done? Well…I chose Catholic Schools. I did so being only 3 years away from being vested. I did so knowing I would have to give up teaching at Delta. I did so with a $15,000 pay cut. I did so know that St. Mary's might not be viable - that I could be jobless if I didn't cut it. But, I have gained so much more in the past four years than I can put into words. I pray with children everyday. I pray with my colleagues everyday. I receive Communion more often than I ever could before. I read more scripture. I know more people striving for Holiness that influence me to want to strive for Holiness.
Perhaps even more importantly - when I made the decision to marry and enter into this vocation I sacrificed myself to get to know Christ and the Immaculate Conception. We are the domestic church. The challenges of our little unit make me turn to Christ often and submit to His will. Having my children deepens my understanding of Mary's maternal love for all of us. For example, nursing. When a mother nurses an infant, it is said that it is best for the Mother to respond to the baby's cues and feed on call. As a mother, I spent hours trying to decipher the cries of the baby to come to know His needs and respond to them. There is no greater priority than nourishing him. I've always seen myself as this lowly little creature (which I am) turning to Mary and Jesus for favors because they call the shots. But it is not that way at all. Rather, Mary is mommy. To nourish me she is sitting and waiting patiently. She is studying the language of me so that she can be there for me. She is listening for my cues. She knows I am helpless but she never abandons me or leave me hungry.
Day 7
My philosophy in life is that if something is quick and easy, then it only takes superficial root. I think Michael Gaitley is really saying that Marian consecration is and OBVIOUS way to holiness, not quick and easy - certainly in today's culture - dying to self is not easy. The part of today's reflection that was most beautiful to me was the thought of Mary preparing my crosses with her love. I think that the practice of virtue is that much easier when place all crosses in the light of Mary reflecting on the Cross. I also think this is why it seems that those beloved by Mary have more crosses. She knows on earth it is only by bearing crosses and suffering with virtue that we will be free and that much more happy in eternity with Christ when our earthly life is over. So…she wants us to bear much so we can advance in discipleship and please her Son.
I know that since the consecration started more "crosses" have emerged at work that have landed in my influence of responsibility. I can't help but wonder is it because I am participating in the consecration that these are surfacing? If I stopped offering myself to Mary would my earthly life be easier? Does she know my limits? Despite the "heaviness" of this week, I can say that I am at peace more than I have been in awhile. Tired. But at peace. I faced each cross with prayer, with trust, and with foresight. This has made me stronger. Practicing virtue as modeled by Mary does increase the fruits of the Spirit and they taste so sweet.
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